Secular Charlotte Mason

The first habit we worked on was obedience.  Where else to start?   I have to say, it took about 5-6 weeks before I could count on Liam to be obedient from habit, rather than just at his whim.  Now, *most of the time*, he really seems to have a desire to obey.  Actually, it's deeper than that.  It doesn't occur to him (again, *most of the time*) to be disobedient or ignore me.

We used a "good behavior jar" to help with this habit.  Every time he would do something I asked of him immediately, without complaint, he'd earn a cube (just what we had on hand.  bingo chips, coins, et al would work the same).  If I had to ask him more than once, he earned nothing.  If he gave any backtalk or tantrum-like behavior, he'd lose cubes.  Then we gave him a goal.  When he earned 50 cubes, we would take a family trip to Paris.  (we live in Belgium, so it's not as grandiose a "reward" as it might sound)  Seeing the cubes add up, or, conversely, decrease, really let him see how his behavior was affecting not only him, but the family as well.

This method worked really well, and I *may* try it out with other habits.  I don't want it to get stale.  One thing I should point out: we didn't use the idea of the trib as a bribe or a reward, although I used that word earlier.  It was more the idea of earning a special family time because of his good behavior.  The *family* part is important as well, I think.  Letting him *earn* a new toy or a DVD of choice wouldn't carry the same message.

What have you done to work on this habit?  I'm always looking for more ideas to solidify what we learn!

I love your idea of the jar.  It's way past time for us to start instilling habits into our kids and I agree that obedience is a terrific place to start (especially with our 3 yr old - jeepers creepers that kid pushes the limits).

I have to make a run to the Dollar Store tomorrow, so I think I'll stock up on something to fill the jars with (I like the suggestion of cubes - bingo chips would take FOREVER to fill a jar, wouldn't it?)

Thanks for the suggestions.

Our family tried something similar to the jar.  The kids (like most) are fascinated by outer space.  So we used magazine clippings to create a space panorama, about 5' long.  The kids and I made a planet earth to glue at one end, and since Saturn is their favorite planet, my husband glued a picture of it to the opposite end.  It looked really cool.  Each child got a tiny spaceship with his or her name on it.  With good behavior, they moved toward Saturn in increments.  When someone reached Saturn, they were allowed to choose their own reward (within reason, of course).  Bad behavior or disobedience earned the child a step back.  My husband also created a black hole.  Any major infraction, and your spaceship gets warped back to planet earth!  Okay, so black holes don't really work that way, but it was great incentive.

The kids really enjoyed this.  It gives them a great sense of responsibility for their own actions, and pride in reaching their own goals.  Although not perfect, my children are well behaved, and show more empathy now. 

A sad end to the space panorama:  my 18 month old recently became able to reach it and mangled it, Tasmanian Devil style.  Should have put it a little higher.:(

I love the idea of the panorama!  Except my son would probably enjoy the idea of being sucked into a black hole!

Heather, I'm glad the idea is of use to you.  We used some linking cubes from our math supplies.  I should have used the blasted teddy bear counters.  What a waste of money THOSE were in our homeschool.