Secular Charlotte Mason

"You want the child to remember? Then secure his whole attention."

(insert strangled groan here) My son is bright, and funny, and charming, and sweet, and a thousand other things.  And yet he is the least attentive child you can imagine.  Or rather, his attention is turned inward.  He's completely attentive to the intricate Lego vehicles he spends hours building, or to all the details of the make up games he insists I play.  But trying to get him to turn his attention to something not of immediate interest is like trying to pick up my car and turn it by hand.

We're working on it.  We do an online phonics program most days -- others reviewing what we've learned.  The lessons only last 10-15 minutes, and I remind him at the beginning, and then during the lesson as needed, that it's just a short lesson and he needs to give it his complete attention.  He's getting better, but it still needs a lot of work.

I do try to keep our "lessons" short -- most only 5-10 minutes.  I give him reminders about paying attention (without making it seem like a chore, I hope), try to keep our readings interesting and animated, and choose books with interesting illustrations.  But this is a difficult one for me.

Does anyone have any tips for securing a habit of attention?  My son just isn't the CM kid you read about in books, saying, "Whatever thou willest, Mother, I will too!"  He's a real flesh and blood boy, and I'm trying to figure out how to develop this habit without standing over him with a ruler, ready to smack his knuckles if his eyes wander!

Karena,

Based on your description I am guessing he is a normal early grammar aged boy, no?  Sounds a LOT like my youngest (girl) and eldest (boy). They both got an attention span with age---the girl much earlier than the boy (mostly due to ADHD/brain chemistry issues).  Honestly it sounds like you are on the right path and he just needs time to mature.  Usually there is a marked improvement around age 7 or 8. Not what you wanted to hear, I know.

If it makes you feel any better none of my kids match the CMkids you read about in books either lol.

"Whatever thou willest, Mother . . ."  You are too funny!

I must admit, I occasionally suffer from profound disillusionment when it comes to my children's attention spans.  Before I became a mother, I had dreamy visions of my homeschooled children who would willingly and eagerly pay attention to anything I said, and complete every task because learning was fun, fun, fun, fun.  Needless to say, this is not how things have worked out.  We do of course have a lot of fun, but some things just aren't.  But they do need to pay attention anyway.

My daughter is a day dreamer, and although very bright, she can be so absent-minded sometimes it makes me crazy.  I find that what works best with her is placing responsibility for her learning squarely on her shoulders.  It seems counter-intuitive, but it helps to let her know that I can not force her to pay attention, and if she wants to learn, she needs to put in the effort.  She likes the respect and responibility, as she loves to be "grown up".

Don't know if this will help, good luck!

Inklings,

I absolutely love the quote and illustration you have as a tagline!!!  You should add that to our CM quotes discussion area. I'm not a big quotes person but so many much of what CM says is so very true I just can't resist using her own words much of the time.

secularcm at 10:55AM on May 27, 2009

Inklings,

I absolutely love the quote and illustration you have as a tagline!!!  You should add that to our CM quotes discussion area. I'm not a big quotes person but so many much of what CM says is so very true I just can't resist using her own words much of the time.

Thank you!  I will . . . when I figure out how to.:dry:

Thanks for the input.  Yes, my son is just 5, so perhaps it is simply time and maturity that will be the cure.  We've also got a few things we're  working on that may help.  I'll post them here in a few weeks if they seem to help.

And I agree, great quote!  My son can't decide if he wants to be an astronaut, a scientist, an inventor, a doctor, or a digger operator!  And he could do any of those things.  The possibilities are endless.

Almost endless.  When my daughter was 3, she wanted to be an astronaut or a fish!

Inklings at 07:59PM on May 29, 2009

Almost endless.  When my daughter was 3, she wanted to be an astronaut or a fish!

That's okay, I've always wanted to be a cat lol.

Oh, Karena, that is absolutely *so* typical of a five year old boy!  *(I've raised 5 of those, but I have no experience with girls -- may well be true of girls, too!).

My suggestion - and what I am doing with my little caboose-boy -- is to make the time increments even shorter when the topic isn't of any particular interest.  As an example, we're finishing up a history unit that he feels he "knows enough" about.  So, rather than try to finish it up in one fell swoop, we have been reading one page.  Just one.  Then he narrates it and we go on to something he's more interested in.  If he can't narrate it, we do it again.  That often takes less than 5 minutes.  He's happy.  I'm happy. 

I also have an active 5 yo builder.  I wear him out all day letting him play and run around outside.  When his body is tired, he will sit and listen to books before bed for as long as he can to stay up later.   The only downside is this doesn't give him the time that CM recommends to "chew" on the story.  He doesn't have trouble going to sleep and he is paying attention because he'll ask questions.  If he gets a glazed look in his eye I let him go to sleep.  I've been able to read a little bit during the day lately but little brother ChanMan is noisy (he'll be 3 this week).  Have you tried letting him play with legos while you read to him?  We aren't doing copywork or narration or anything formal right now.  Just reading good books...and spending plenty of time in nature.  Now that it is summer and getting dark later, getting him to come inside to get ready for bed in time to read has been a bit of a challenge. 

Oh, and at this age, our "narration" is me asking "OK, what did that say"?  If he can answer that question and his answer makes clear that he was paying attention rather tan quoting the last line verbatim, he's done.  I want him to have the idea right now, but he's six and actually a little young yet.

What a really interesting topic here.. I have to agree that through time and further emotional development and maturation he will be more focused. (hopefully)

He does sound like a typical 5 yo boy, I have four boys so yes I can certain understand where you coming from.

One tip I can give maybe to help is to bring "movement" into his learning right now.

When doing phonics practice while throwing a ball or take a chalk board and wet your finger and write the letter and make the sound till it disappears... things that he can visual and help create a memory from.

Outside make letters on the side walk in boxes and say the sound and he has to jump on the sound... or play phonics bingo and as you call out the letter he has to make the sound as he puts down his "dot"... things like that.. these things could help.